Was French Ever This Hard?

I just have a few minutes to blog and rest.  Then it's off to Tai Chi class, straight to dinner afterwards, and then try to get a head start on Wednesday's homework.  I'm just going to do homework a day in advance, because if I wait until the day it's assigned, I'm behind.  This is due to their policy going too fast to take notes in class. 

Was French ever this hard?  I remember being in France, feeling hopeless, thinking I'd never learn, I'd always sound like a jackass, and that I'd go home immediately if I hadn't prepaid everything.  Prepayment is how they keep you on these programs. 

The answer, of course, is no, French was never this hard.  We were much more relaxed, had less homework, spoke English all the time; we weren't constantly slammed.  Of course, I'm probably the only one in that group that still speaks French, but to be honest, I still sounded like a jackass a year or so after I got back from France.  It wasn't until way after that I started sounding really good in French, and who knows why that happened.  I was sure I would never go back to France, but since then I've been back to France four times now?  And they're always stunned that my pronunciation isn't gross. 

My Chinese pronunciation isn't gross, but I could go weeks without speaking a well-formed sentence.  Just now, in my one-on-one class, I fantasized about going back to Seattle early, spending the rest of the summer in my comfortable, clean, American townhouse, with nothing to do but be comfortable.

Right now, I'm feeling like I'm never going to get this language.  Actually, I feel like I'm not even learning the language.  I fell like I'm just doing what I have to to get by.  Which is a lot, but still, I seem to have no desire to do things like, oh, remember words that someone just told me, read my teachers' notes, read the English directions on my test....

I would do it immediately if I hadn't prepaid.  Prepayment is how they keep you. 

To anyone who is thinking "Well, JP, this is how YOUR students must feel!"  Ha ha.  I wish you a painful death.